Just got engaged, we’re planning for next spring, and my partner and I are already at the venue-and-guest-list stage. Guest count is sitting around 100 right now (will probably creep up, it always does), and I’ve realised I have absolutely no idea how to actually start looking for a caterer. Not “which one is best” — I’m not even at that point yet. I mean the actual process. Where do you begin when this is your first time organising anything this size?

I’ve done small dinner parties. I’ve never had to feed 100 people who all have different expectations, different dietary needs, and a strong collective memory of every wedding they’ve ever attended and whether the food was good or “fine, I guess.”

If you’ve been through this in Slough recently, I’d genuinely appreciate a walkthrough of how you approached it, because right now I’m just opening tabs and closing them again.

Where I’m starting from (i.e., nowhere)

Here’s what I actually know:

• We want a mix of North and South Indian dishes because our families are from different regions and everyone has opinions
• We need proper vegetarian options that aren’t just “the same paneer dish twice”
• A couple of guests have nut allergies, so that needs to be handled properly, not just noted and forgotten
• We want sweets that feel special, not the standard tray of barfi that shows up at every event

That’s it. That’s the whole plan so far. I don’t know how many caterers I should even be contacting, what a reasonable timeline looks like, or what questions separate a good conversation from a red flag.

The plan I’ve cobbled together (tell me if this is wrong)

Step 1: Make a shortlist before contacting anyone. I’ve been searching locally rather than just going with whoever has the most Google reviews, since reviews alone don’t tell you much (more on that below). One name that came up a few times when I asked around rather than just searching blind was the Indian Catering Services Slough side of things, mostly because people specifically mentioned handling bigger functions rather than just small get-togethers, which seems like a genuinely different skill set to sort out for 100 people versus 20.

Step 2: Actually call, don’t just email. I read somewhere that how a caterer handles a first phone call tells you a lot — do they ask good questions about your guest count, dietary mix, and venue, or do they just quote a flat per-head price without knowing anything about your event? I’m planning to call at least four or five places and see who actually asks the right questions versus who just wants to close the sale.

Step 3: Ask about tastings. I genuinely don’t know if this is standard for a 100-person wedding or if it’s only for the bigger-budget end. Is it reasonable to ask, or does that only happen once you’ve already put down a deposit?

Step 4: Sort dessert separately if needed. This one I actually feel more confident about, because a friend who got married last year told me she didn’t rely on her main caterer’s dessert package at all — she was able to Order Indian Sweets in Slough directly from a specialist and just coordinated delivery timing with her venue. That apparently gave her way more control over what actually showed up, rather than accepting whatever generic sweet tray came bundled with the main menu. I’m planning to do the same, mostly because my future mother-in-law has Very Strong Opinions about mithai and I’d rather not gamble on that.

Step 5: Get everything in writing before paying a deposit. Portion sizes, what happens if the headcount shifts, staffing on the day, how allergies are actually handled in the kitchen (not just noted on a form). I don’t know what’s “normal” to ask for versus what’s overkill, so any input here would help.

The stuff I genuinely can’t figure out from Googling

How early is too early, and how late is too late? We’re a year out from the wedding. Is that early enough that caterers won’t take us seriously yet, or is it actually the right window to lock something in before dates fill up?

What’s a fair deposit structure? I’ve seen everything from “10% to hold the date” to “50% upfront,” and I have no idea what’s reasonable versus what’s a caterer trying to lock in cash before doing any real planning.

How do allergies actually get handled on the day? Noting it on a form feels like the easy part. What I want to know is whether there’s a separate prep area, whether staff are actually briefed, and whether this is something caterers here take seriously or just pay lip service to.

Buffet, plated, or a mix? Our venue can handle either, but with 100 guests spanning three generations, I don’t know if a full buffet creates chaos or if it’s genuinely fine as long as there’s enough staff managing the flow.

How much should I actually budget per head? I know this varies wildly, but even a rough range from people who’ve actually paid for this in Slough recently would help me stop guessing.

Why I’m posting here instead of just hiring whoever answers the phone first

Because everyone selling catering sounds confident, and that confidence doesn’t tell me anything about whether the food will actually be good or whether the event will run smoothly. What I want is the perspective of someone who’s already stood at their own wedding, watching 100 people go through a buffet line, and can tell me honestly what worked and what they’d change if they did it again.

So if you’ve done this recently — even if it wasn’t a wedding, any event around that size — I’d love to hear how you approached the search, how far ahead you booked, what questions actually mattered, and whether the food held up once the day actually arrived. I’ll post an update once we’ve actually booked someone, mostly so the next panicking newly-engaged person searching this at 1am has a slightly better starting point than I did.